Mommy wars and unsolicted advice

I am currently on maternity leave, but am seriously contemplating sending my older child to daycare 2 to 3 days a week once my spouse returns to work in a few weeks; mostly for the sake of my own sanity and so I can get enough rest. My spouse is supportive of this, and I know of several other people who see no issue with it either, however some seem to think I am being silly. Well, try living in my house for awhile, you know? I had a freaking c-section 3 weeks ago, a newborn, and a smart and busy toddler; not to forget the 2 dogs and 2 cats that also reside here. While I feel pretty good following the c-section, I also have been reminded by my doctor that it was "major surgery" and I should really take it slowly and easily during my maternity leave; which is hard to do when one has an older child. Anyway, dear hubby's advice is to ignore the naysayers, and while I agree, this is easier said than done.
This brings me to the topic heading "Mommy Wars." Why the hell are women so hard on each other? I know I am guilty of this at times too, but I know I do not sit and tell women who choose to stay home what a foolish financial choice they are making; or say to them "what if something happened to your spouse/partner, how would your family survive financially?" I think that the choice that best suits the family and parent is the best choice. For me, I enjoy being a parent who works. Is it easy? No. Do I feel guilty from time to time? Sure. Am I glad I bring home close to half of the household income, enabling us to save for things that are important to our family, such as college educations? Yes. Am I glad I have the outlet work provides me creatively and intellectually? Yes. But, I also know I am lucky, I have a spouse who is very hands on as a parent. I have met many women, including one the other day, who seem to think it is odd that I would leave my children home with my husband, for any reason. Are these women married to idiots or serial killers or something?
On to unsolicted advice. I am a pretty damn assertive person. I had to bite my tongue often during my last pregnancy as to not say stuff that would get me fired, but generally I am able to communicate directly and appropriately with others. I am so damn sick of unsolicited advice. Particularly from people I think are idiots. Or at the very least delusional. That is all I am saying about that for now, must go find an ice cube to soothe the tongue I keep needing to bite.