options....

My dear hubby and I are planning on having another child...soon. This brings a variety of emotions and concerns; money, time, working and juggling parenthood, etc. However, for us we also have the concern over another premature delivery, which I am at increased risk for due to having one preemie already. Everyone tries to be really encouraging, we hear a lot of "it won't happen again" or "you had such a scare last time, you are due a boring and safe pregnancy." Well, wonderful thoughts and good intentions aside, I am still a little bit anxious about another pregnancy. Jude is doing great, which has been a huge relief for both of us. 90% of 32 weekers have no ongoing complications, however there was a risk of cerebal palsy, vision problems, ongoing respitory problems, and more. Not to forget the frightening experience of an emergency c-section, followed by Jude being sent to nearest NICU over an hour away, the month in the hospital, crippling post partum depression, and a hydrocephelus scare when he was 6 months old. Looking at him, one really would not know about his scary start; but I won't ever forget it. So, I have not lost the 40+ lbs I wanted to lose prior to another pregnancy ( although I am not heavier than I was when I got pregnant with Jude!), and I am still taking antidepressants. I am really leaning toward d/c the lexapro, at least for the 1st and 3rd trimesters, as I am just not comfortable with the risks, albeit small. Plus, the information available about the safety is so polarizing; there are those who insist there is too much risk and others who see little to no risk. The PPD following Jude's birth was bad, and it took me a couple months to realize I was as depressed and anxious as I was; and I am a mental health professional! I can see there were factor around his birth contributing this, and the research and reading I have done points to links between emergency c-sections and PPD, as well as the impact of additional stress on PPD. I am contemplating treating any depression I may experience with acupuncture during pregnancy. I have had a little experience with it, and have read and heard about the benefits of it and know the risk to a pregnancy would be pretty much nil.